strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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