mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
honey bunches of taint.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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