Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
