on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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