I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
