So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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