I hate all girls vehemently.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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