Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize