i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
