break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
