i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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