Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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