so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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