Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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