Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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