last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
