Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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