We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My feet surprised me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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