Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
