Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
