so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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