girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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