you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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