whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
