Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
