it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
