Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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