Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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