wat bout pragnant strippers??
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
