Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
