ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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