I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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