Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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