He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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