ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
