I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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