i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
