even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
