Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
