you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
