I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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