i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
