apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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