Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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