i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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