How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
