dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
