Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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