he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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