Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
