After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
