do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
