Pappa wants mamma naked
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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