I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
