Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
