I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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