Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
